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Changes in a teen's physical and cognitive（认知的）development come with big changes in their relationships with family and friends. Teens want more (independent) and more emotional distance between them and their parents. A teen's focus often changes to social interactions and friendships.

During the teens, a much (deep) understanding of one's self occurs. Teens start to learn to work out problems on (they) own. With more reasoning and intuitive（直觉的）abilities, teens start to face new responsibilities and to enjoy their thoughts and actions. Teens start to have thoughts and fantasies about their future and adult life.

Teens spend more time with friends. They report feeling more understood and accepted by their friends. Less and less time  (spend) with parents and other family  (member).

Close friendships tend to develop between teens with similar interests and social classes. While childhood friendships tend to be based  commom activities， teen friendships expand(扩大）to include similarities in attitudes,values,and 

(share) activties.Teen friendshipps also tend to focus on educational interests. Especially for girls, close, intimate（亲密的）, self-disclosing conversations with friends help to explore identities and define one's sense of self. The friendships of teen boys tend to be less intimate those of girls. Boys are more likely to form an alliance（结盟）with a group of friends accept each other's worth through actions and deeds rather than (person) sharing.

There was a girl who could do anything she wanted. All she had to do was to choose something and 1  So, one day she sat down and began to 2 . Every stroke (笔画）was more perfect than the next. When she finished painting, she stared 3  at her work and smiled.

It was obvious that she had a 4 . She was an artist. But a few moments after she finished painting. she got 5  and quickly stood up. Because she realized that 6  she had the ability to do anything she 7  to do, she was simply spending all her time painting.

She felt like there was so much more in the world to see and do-so many 8 . And if she decided to do something else, then all the time she spent painting would be a 9  So she walked out the door.

She had to choose one thing to do out of all the possibilities in the world. Should she practice medicine? Or design buildings? She was 10  

Twenty-five years later, the girl began to cry. She 11 that over the years she had become so enamored (迷恋) of everything that she could do that she hadn't done anything 12 at all. And she learned, at last, that life isn't about 13 —anything is possible. Life is about making a decision.

So the girl continued painting through the day and into the night，because she had 14  made a decision.And there was still some 15  to enjoy the magic that life is all about.

Teenagers hate being treated like children, but don't expect them to be teenagers. but parents trying to encourage these changes often do more harm than good.

For example, you and the rest of your family are heading up to the mall for a few hours. , so you decide not to encourage her to come with you. It seems like a very respectful thing to take into account her feelings, but when you return she is unhappy. . She could have been caught up in a friend drama or some other kind of drama, or she could be feeling hurt. , but maybe you should have at least talked with her about it. Even knowing that you wanted to spend time with her would probably have made her feel good.

Some people may say that it is unreasonable for parents to allow their children to ask for constant (不断的) attention, but spending 30 extra seconds to make sure your children know you care about them only allows them to have a part of the self-worth they are so lacking (缺乏) at this time in their lives.

Expecting them to be emotionally distant (疏远)from you only strengthens the idea that they should be. . When they need a break from the high school soap opera, you will both be glad you didn't close that door.

A. So you are trying to be supportive

B. Actively listen to her and say as little as possible

C. Maybe she really didn't want to go to the mall with you

D. Your daughter doesn't want to be seen with you in public

E. Many things could have gone wrong while you were away

F. Always give them the choice to be an independent teen or your baby girl

G. They are growing up and may want to change things about their habits or activities

"Helicopter (直升机) parenting" describes a style of raising children where parents are over-protective and do too much. The term describes parents who hover    over their kids at home and on the playground like a helicopter. Today, modern technology allows these helicopter parents to hover from even far away. They can give their children directions at any moment from anywhere.

Julie Lythcott-Haims wrote a book titled How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success. In her book, she gives readers a closer look at this parenting style. She also explains why parents should stop it.

Julie Lythcott-Haims says she experienced the effects of helicopter parenting first-hand when she worked as dean of first-year students at Stanford University. The incoming students, or freshmen, she says, were very smart and accomplished on paper. But many were unable to take care of themselves. "They were turning to parents constantly for guidance, for problem-solving, to have them make the choice about something."

Lythcott-Haims warns this kind of parenting has many short-term wins but long-term costs that harm the child. She uses an area common to most children--a playground. Lythcott-Haims suggests letting your child get a little hurt.

"If you do your child's homework, it will be perfect. That is what she calls the short-term win. The long-term cost is that your child may not feel capable. And he does not become a determined learner, meaning he will give up easily when faced with a difficult problem to solve." So what can parents do if they want to break the over-parenting "helicopter" cycle? Reading Julie's book, you can follow some ways to stop hovering over your children.In a word, when kids have all the skills to take care of themselves, they will be prepared for adulthood.

Jack White is a 17-year-old student who has already published a collection of poetry with a local publisher. Jack believes switching (转) to an all-boys school from his coed (男女同校) high school changed his life.

"When I was at my coed school, poetry was for girls， not boys. Guys were supposed to like subjects like math, computers, and science. When I wrote poems, the guys at school used to make fun of me and girls didn't want to date me. At my new school, things are different. I don't worry what girls are thinking since there aren't any."

Jack may not realize that boys and girls also learn and think differently based on specific (具体的) biological developments. These differences affect how and when boys and girls learn, so single-sex education is actually better for children. 

Take, for example, brain development. The areas of the brain related to language, feelings, physical coordination (协调), and social relationships, develop in a different order and speed in girls and boys. Research has shown that girls' brains develop the connections between language and emotions earlier than boys' brains. In a single-sex classroom, everyone's brain is developing at similar speeds, so teachers can teach according to their students' actual abilities.

Boys and girls also have different hearing abilities. Girls have a sense of hearing which is two to four times better than boys. Women teachers often speak more quietly, so boys may have more difficulty hearing a woman teacher if she is talking in her "normal" voice. The teacher needs to speak louder to get the boys' attention. In a single-sex school, teachers do not have to keep adjusting (调整) their voice.

Jack might not be aware of the biological arguments why single-sex education is better, but he realizes that he is learning faster at his new school. As Jack says, "I hated writing and studying English in my old coed school, but now I'm a published poet! My new school helped me become comfortable with who I really am. "